I lost my mother when I was 30. She never got to be in my life in the way I hoped she would be. I am getting to be the grandmother I had hoped she would be before she was taken too soon. I also relate to your story in regards to your mother-in-law and how she perhaps feels about your thildren by adoption. I have children by birth and adoption and some family members have never made the connection to them that they have with my birth kids. I also worked as an adoption support worker for years and knew families where the grandparents were disinterested in the grandchildren by adoption because they did not share genetics. Sad. They are missing out as are the children. I've also known people who used a surrogate with someone else's eggs and the grandmother refused to acknowledge to her daughter that the baby was there. Again, sad loss for everyone.