I think this is a widespread problem with our foster care system and the process of placing kids for adoption. It sounds like you have some knowledge of very real experience. I agree figuring out how to support a birth parent to be able to have their child stay with them should be a priority. Some of my kids by adoption had open relationships with birth parents starting at a young age; two of mine returned to live with their birth mother for a few months some years after we adopted them. She was not able to successfully parent them but it ended up being something that needed to happen. Children know more than we think and we can't pretend their story began the day they were placed for adoption whether that is when they are a day old or nine or seven or eleven like some of mine were.