I'm so sorry for all your pain. It's so hard to not be able to help, to know our kid is out there, malfunctioning in a world that isn't always kind. And for your other son, I feel it too. We can watch and hope and hold out a hand when we can. You are not alone although that probably isn't helpful. I'm with you in spirit, upholding you in a place of peace that I hope you are able to achieve, even if only for short periods of time in a day.