We raised four birth children and twelve by adoption. We fostered two more for short periods of time ; and for different reasons we were not able to adopt them. Like you I am a parent to kids who have been very successful in life and others who have not. And as you also point out our influence is not everything. It's somewhat of a joke in adoption circles that if your child by adoption turns out well it's because you adopted them and if they don't it's because of their genetics or previous life and nothing to do with your parenting. And of course neither of these is exactly true.