Yes, you understand well. Our first adoption was in 1991 and we also did not know then what we do now. Neither did most adoptive parents back then. You are so right about the need to understand grief and loss and that love will not fix everything. Most adoption agencies and local social service offices where I live do require adoption education that includes topics of attachment, trauma, grief and loss and more. The problem is that some people sit through them nodding their heads without understanding how important it is to be able to use this knowledge to make good decisions about whether to adopt or not and also in ways it will impact parenting and relationships.